Fangirl Diaries
by ImJustNutty
Summary: ...did you know there's a girl stalking you?" "...yes." "...same here." Our favourite characters brave their worst enemy ever...the FANGIRL. Scatter of pairings, all straight, and all very slight. Very, very, VERY slight. Sorry!
1. ITS THE FANGIRLS! Gokudera Hayato

**HAHAHA! Lambo-san is BACK!**

**(gets slapped by a fish. For randomness sake)**

**I mean, Lifiea Chancelot, crazy fanfiction writer, is BACK!**

**Little reminder: This fic has no pairings. DON'T GIVE ME THAT POUT. It's still funny. Or your money back.**

**I DO NOT OWN KATEKYO HITMAN...ah, this is dumb. We already know that. If I did, there would be more Gokudera, less Lambo, and more LamboXI-Pin. Cough.**

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Gokudera had this strange feeling creeping up his back.

Which was strange. He hadn't had this feeling since...since...the last time he saw his sister. Which was like, just before he went to school.

But there was no reason for her to be at school...was there? He peered nervously around him. The corridor was empty...

...or so it seemed.

You don't get into the mafia because you want to. You get in there because you've got skill. You've got cunning. You've got the bloodlust and greed for power.

"Eh, Gokudera-kun, what's wrong?" Tsuna questioned.

"...Jyuudaime...I think...we're being..."Gokudera started, then stopped in his tracks, spun around and chucked a whole bunch of dynamite into a classroom door.

The casual observer might have noticed the beauty of the moment: The sticks of dynamite swiftly soaring through the air like...how you might imagine sticks of dynamite soaring through the air. Gokudera's thrust out hand, sending the little death in a cylinders out. Tsuna screaming in anguish and going something along the lines of "ZOMG HOMG HIBARI'S SO GOING TO KILL MEEEEEE...".

Then the beauty stops, the dynamite explodes and a squeal is heard. A flustered person is thrown out of the classroom with the force of the explosion.

"AIEE!" screamed Tsuna in his...usual girly fashion. Gokudera immediately jumped in front of Tsuna, brandished an obscene number of explosive material and was ready to kill the intruder who got within 2 metres of the Jyuudaime, until the person stands up and ...

...sparkles?!

"JYUUDAIME, RUN! IT'S A SUICIDE BOMBER WHO'S COVERED HEAD TO TOE IN EXPLOSIVES!!!" yelled Gokudera urgently.

"...takes one to know one..." thought Tsuna as he stepped away slowly, but unwilling to let his friend face this...so-called suicide bomber.

"You assassin! Prepare to taste my..." Gokudera snarled menacingly, but as the smoke cleared the sparkling figure was revealed to be a...

...schoolgirl?!

"What?!" Tsuna exclaimed. Gokudera was startled, but even more so when the girl suddenly squealed the way Haru usually does, and _threw herself at him._

Gokudera dropped the dynamite, and started trying to pull the girl, who was now clutching onto him as if he was the only thing that kept her alive. "What the #$# is going on?! ###$ stupid woman!"

Tsuna was still gaping at the scene. "Who...who are you?"

Gokudera pushed the girl violently off him, grabbed Tsuna's wrist and sprinted for the exit.

"He...hey! Gokudera-kun! What's going on? We didn't even find out what was going on!" Tsuna protested as the two ran outside the school, and turned a corner before they stopped.

"...there's no need to question. They...they have..._come."_ Gokudera hissed mysteriously.

Tsuna, hands on knees, panting with the effort from running, asked "Who? What? Are they from the Varia? Byakuran's minions? WAUUUGH WHERE'S REBORN!"

Gokudera's face turned dark. "No. Worse. Not even Reborn can help us. For even he is one of _their _targets."

Tsuna's eyes widened. "No...it can't be..."

Gokudera looked up with a dangerous gleam in his green eyes. "Yes."

"_It's the fangirls."_

Tsuna fell to his knees. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

o0o0o0o0o0o0o

It was evident that Gokudera was their first target. Starting from that weird girl who pounced on him in school...this meant trouble.

Worse, they were getting less subtle.

Once, Gokudera walked back from school with Tsuna and Yamamoto, as usual. Then a girl jumped out of the bushes. Tsuna screamed (as usual), Yamamoto raised and eyebrow, and Gokudera was ready to fight.

The girl pulled out 3 sticks of dynamite.

"BASEBALL IDIOT GET THE JYUUDAIME OUT OF HERE THAT CRAZY WOMAN'S GOING TO ATTACK!" Gokudera yelled urgently as he whipped out dynamite of his own.

The girl then started juggling the dynamite sticks, which auto-lit up, like Gokudera's did.

To say that the three boys were surprised would be an understatement. Gokudera's jaw literally dropped.

"...stupid woman! What are you _doing?_ Dynamite isn't a toy!" Gokudera yelled.

The girl tossed the dynamite into the air, caught it, spun around and went "TADA!! Gokudera-sama! Did I do well? Huh huh huh huh huh?" The girl went all jittery and hyper and sparkly.

Gokudera's eye twitched. "GET OUTTA HERE!" He bellowed and chucked the dynamite in his hand at her. "Rocket bombs!"

"Ah!" went the girl, who disappeared in an explosion of grey smoke.

"Gokudera! Was that really necessary? She was just a girl." Yamamoto sighed. Gokudera grabbed _both _their wrists and sprinted in the opposite direction.

"You baseball idiot, what would YOU know? These...creatures...they are bad enough as it is." Gokudera yelled as he looked behind him.

As the smoke cleared, Tsuna gasped as the girl rose from the debris.

"...the worst part is..._they keep coming back." _Gokudera hissed.

Tsuna's eyes widened in shock, as the girl called after him.

"_GOKUDERA-SAMA I WILL STILL FOREVER LOVE YOUUUU!!!"_

o0o0o0o0o0o0o

The last straw came when he was visiting Tsuna's house with Yamamoto. He disliked the baseball player...he talked too much.

But then, some extra help might be needed when dealing with the likes of _them_.

On the way, they had to walk up this high slope on the road path, and that's when Gokudera, if he was a girl, or if he had any less pride, or if he even regarded Yamamoto as an existent human being, he might just have jumped into Yamamoto's arms.

Instead, he had to make do with screaming very OOCish and jumping 3 feet into the air.

"Nice jump, Gokudera! You should consider joining Nanimori's Basketball Club! After all, you can throw things well, and also..." Yamamoto cheerily started babbling again, but Gokudera's mouth still hung agape, not even able to tell him to shut up.

Below them, at the bottom of the ridiculously high hill, was a gigantic "WE LOVE YOU GOKUDERA-SAMA 3" written out with hundreds of lit sticks of dynamite.

Note the fact that they were _lit_, and they were also _dynamite._

Then they exploded.

o0o0o0o0o

"Gokudera-kun...um, I don't mean to question your fashion sense, but is that really necessary?" Tsuna asked, a bit nervously.

Gokudera humphed. "I'm sorry, Jyuudaime to be an embarrassment to you, but until _they _leave Nanimori I am afraid this is the only way to stop them from causing harm to us."

...sure enough, the fangirls stayed at bay, but there were always eyes in the dark alleys, following the man of their dreams as he walked past.

They watched as Tsuna, Yamamoto, Gokudera, and the sign that read "I HATE FANGIRLS" that dangled from his neck disappeared down the school corridor.

Next target..._Hibari Kyouya._

o0o0o0o0o0

**Aha that was lame. It was harder to make it funny. I am sure Hibari's one will be funnier...so a certain extent, because it's easier to imagine what hibari would do..and what his fangirls would do.**

**...reviews?**

**...you can request for characters, though obviously the others include Yamamoto, Squalo (this will be amusing), Xanxus (if you want), Adult Lambo, Mukuro, etc etc.**


	2. ITS THE FANGIRLS! Hibari Kyouya

**..O_O**

**...O_____o**

**Okay. I am surprised (pleasantly) and delighted at the reviews! Okay yeah its only 5 but that's a little more than I get after releasing my first chapters of my fics. Usually. I thought not many people would wanna read this cuz...it aint 2769 or whatever warped pairing.**

**Thus, I bring thee all the Torture of Hibari Kyouya. (insert ebil laugh and lightning and thunder)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Katekyo Hitman Reborn. Heck, I don't even own a single piece of its MERCHANDISE.**

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"...I'll bite you herbivores to death if you don't get out of this corridor. You're crowding up the place. And why are you all in a group again? Stupid herbivores."

"...Hi...Hibari-san! Uh...we'll get...out...now!" Tsuna stuttered pathetically (as usual) and was about to drag his friends away but remembered the reason they were trying to stick together.

"Hibari-san...um, just to warn you. There are ..._fangirls_ around in here! Be..uh, careful!" Then he ran off with Gokudera and Yamamoto on his heels.

Hibari frowned (okay he frowns all the time. Let's say he frowned even MORE...if that was even possible). "These herbivores fear a bunch of silly girls?"

Deep within his heart, though, something stirred.

Something that hadn't stirred for a long, long time.

_Tee hee hee hee hee...!!!_

o0o0o0oo0o

Hibari was lying on the rooftops as usual, with little Hibird fluttering about.

Then he heard the Namimori school song being played. Hibird landed next to Hibari's head.

He frowned. He looked at Hibird. Hibird turned his head and looked back at Hibari. His beak was full of bird seed that Hibari had left in a little bowl beside his head.

Now evidently something was wrong.

Hibari set his handphone to vibration AND sound. Since his pant pocket was not vibrating...

It obviously wasn't Hibird...unless that creep Birds had taught his birds to be ventriloquists, which would have been very cool yet very unlikely.

...it was midway through lessons, therefore the school song had already been sung earlier that day.

So this is Hibari Kyouya we're talking about. Super paranoid, possible asexual totally antisocial head prefect of Namimori school. He jumped up..._smoothly_, of course. To panic would be...un-Hibari-ish. He wielded his tonfas of utter destruction, and looked around. Hibird flew around and started soaring toward the big pillar thingy that they have on the roof.

Hibari walked toward the pillar thingy. "I'll give you three seconds to come out, or I'll bite you to...???"

When he said "I'll bite you to", a squeal was heard from behind the pillar. This was strange. After all, Hibari was used to hearing screams of fear, or pain, or ...stuff. Not...excitement? Happiness? Elation? Clearly he was up against someone who was of a different fighting calibre altogether.

"I'm coming." He growled softly, in that menacing voice that sends chills down most human beings.

Of course, it didn't send any chills of fear down _this _enemy...unless it was chills of...never mind. As Hibari neared the pillar, a sparkling figure leapt out toward him.

Hibari Kyouya. Freaky pro-fighter who never dies (even when you want him to). If he couldn't defend himself in his own territory, he wouldn't be the Cloud Guardian, or the freaky scary head prefect of the school for years. He easily evaded the attack and whacked the figure away onto the floor. A scream of terror was heard. _Now, that's more like it, _thought our crazy head prefect.

He stepped over to the person. It was...a girl? "I don't recognise your school uniform. You're not from here. How did you get in here and what do you want?" Hibari smirked, holding the tonfa at her lower back. "It doesn't matter. What matters is that I get to bite someone to..."

"EEEEEEEEE!!!" went the girl. It was the same happy squeal that Hibari had heard when he approached the pillar. _What the hell is wrong with this woman?_ he thought. (A/N: ...I figured Hibari would be the type who says WTH with a hell and not WTH as in heck, despite my....aversion to vulgarity. But whatever. Continue reading)

"YESYESHIBARI-SAMA! BITE ME TO DEATH!" The girl squealed, and sparkled even brighter. Hibari's thoughts went along the lines of "...is she mad." and "...is she some enemy Guardian of Sun or something? Because as far as I know, humans don't sparkle like that. (Unless they are silly vampires but then that's not human so whatever)."

The surprise led Hibari to tense up, and the girl still remained. Hibari was puzzled.

"...woman, there are no mental hospitals in the vicinity. Where have you come from?"

The girl jumped up as Hibari withdrew his tonfa. She beamed happily at him, screamed (happily), and threw herself at him. Again.

Hibari was prepared, and counter whacked her with his tonfas over the side of the building. He peered over.

_She was no where to be seen._

Again, the chill ran down his spine. As the wind blew, he heard the faint sound of an excited squeal...

o0o0o0o00o0o0o0o

Hibari was just...hanging out with Hibird in the school corridors. It was nice and quiet because it was after school. Staring/stoning out of the window, he watched the empty courtyard with the trees swaying, and the birds flying and cheeping. Hibird suddenly set off from the sill and soared around. Hibari watched his pretty little bird fly about (A/N:...dang, this sounds like he's...Hibirdsexual or something. BLEAH).

Then something strange happened.

Hibird, being the overweight ball of bright yellow fluff, was unmistakable in the sky, flying about very clearly to one's eye. There was only one Hibird.

...then why were there two overweight balls of fluff floating in the air?

Was that creep Birds back? Were there left over birds that someone still owned? More importantly, was that bird going to do anything to Hibird? Note here that Hibari fights with tonfas, which are not long-range weapons, which makes killing a (mocking)bird a bit hard.

"Hibird. Return." He said just loud enough to reach Hibird's ...ears. (...birds don't really HAVE ears but they do have some hearing hole thing I think...) Hibird turned and soared back toward Hibari. The second 'Hibird' followed.

As Hibird neared, Hibari opened the window a bit wider, jumped onto the sill, and with lightning quick reflexes grabbed the imposter bird. In desperation, the bird started singing the Namimori school song.

A distance away, the breaking of a bird's neck was heard, along with the soft mutter of "...it was singing in the wrong key."

Attached to the dead bird's leg was a note. It had _Hibari Kyouya _written on the outside in flowery pink handwriting.

It read:

"_Hibari-sama~ 3  
To bridge our hearts together, I think it best for Hibird and Hinabird to get together as a signi..."_

Hibari is not a romantic. Even if he was, it wasn't going to stop him from not reading the whole letter, shredding it to bits with his tonfa, chucking it into a fire, and scrubbing his hands (as well as poor Hibird) when he got home.

o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Another horrible event nearly cost the fangirl population of Namimori extinction.

For some reason, Reborn had organised a weird gathering that even Hibari had to go for. But of course to say he was forced would be a bruise to his pride. He insisted the only reason he went was because of boredom. Which was true, of course.

Hibari and Gokudera were sparring, and Gokudera was losing (A/N: NUUUU...I'm sorry. Continue reading). Hibari raised his tonfas...

...when suddenly a loud cheer came from behind the hill behind the seven Guardians and Reborn's gathering place.

"WE LOVE YOU HIBARI KYOUYA-SAMAAAAA~~~!!!"

Hibari's eye twitched. Gokudera calmly pulled out 5 large sticks of dynamite, lit them, and passed them to Hibari.

Hibari wordlessly chucked them toward the hill.

Not too far away, Sawada Nana looked out of the window toward the hill. "Ooh, fireworks!"

**o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o**

**OKAY THAT WAS ...quite long. **

**Now, OMAKE (because my crazy friends suggested it. Blame them)**

The whole Vongola family is going on vacation! Suggested by Reborn, of course. Which also suggested vigorous training, but when has Tsuna ever been able to refuse Reborn's _lovely offers?_

Now everything was going smoothly until they reached the checkpoint place.

Gokudera: YOU WANT ME TO GIVE YOU MY #$#$ING DYNAMITE?

Guard guy:...Yes.

Gokudera:...ROCKET BOMB!!!

Guard guy and Tsuna: AIEEEEEEEEEE!!!

_not too far away:_

Guard guy 2: ..sir, these...weapons are not allowed on board.

Hibari:...(evil glare of DOOOM) Are you telling me you want to take my tonfas away?

Guard guy 2:...well, just keep it here for safekeeping, you're not allowed to...

Hibari:...(intensified evil glare of DOOOM)...are you telling me what I'm allowed or not allowed to do?

Guard guy 2:...ye-

...the poor guy didn't even complete his one word answer.

**...REVIEWS!**


	3. ITS THE FANGIRLS! Yamamoto Takeshi

**I think I'm mahd. Third chapter, and no one's reviewed the second chapter yet. Mainly because I just posted it 3 hours ago but...whatever!**

**MAHDNESS is contagious.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own. I mean, I can draw Tsuna...sometimes. But my Gokuderas are turning girly looking, Hibari is complete and utter PHAIL, and...um, well, I can only draw Mukuro in chibi. SIGH.**

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Yamamoto, being Yamamoto, didn't really understand what the whole fuss about these...'fangirls' was. He simply thought that Hibari and Gokudera were being really mean to these girls.

But he's a baseball player. A jock. Jocks have fan(girls) all the time.

"They are just girls who like us a lot. What's so bad about that?" Yamamoto asked Gokudera.

Gokudera turned to Yamamoto. "You're just the baseball idiot. What do you know?"

Yamamoto grinned proudly. "Baseball, of course!"

Gokudera groaned in frustration.

o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Like what Gokudera had suspected, Yamamoto wouldn't understand the frustration of having fangirls even when it struck him in the face.

Literally.

It was baseball practice, and Yamamoto was the batter. Bat-er. Bater. Bat...person! Okay, bat person.

The ball raced toward Yamamoto through the air. His bat swung and whacked it toward...

...oblivion?!

The ball had disappeared into a puff of pink smoke that smelled flowery and sickly. Rose petals exploded everywhere. Hinabird appeared. Of course, Yamamoto doesn't know that's Hinabird.

"...Hibird?!" Yamamoto the idiot (no offence. Cute, but nothing much in that head of his) exclaimed to the little bird, which suddenly pecked him on the nose.

A piece of paper, pink, with _Yamamoto Takeshi_ written on it in flowery pink remained on the floor amongst the rose petals. He picked it up and read it.

"_My Dearest Takeshi-chan~~3_

_ME LUBS YOU! TEE HEE!_

_~lots of lub, Hibari Kyouya 333"_

"...Hibari? Seriously?" Yamamoto thought, but shrugged, threw away the letter, and continued with his training.

o0o0o0o0o00o

Yamamoto, being the extremely trustworthy and trusting person, recounted the event to Tsuna and Gokudera. Reborn, of course, was there too.

"Hmm. Honestly, there's nothing we can do except deal with them individually. The _fangirl_ is very dangerous and must be handled carefully, and personally.

Yamamoto nodded. "Oh yeah, forgot to tell you guys: found this other letter tied to a baseball that landed beside me just now."

Gokudera opened the letter, and nearly screamed.

Tsuna carefully retrieved the letter from Gokudera's cold and lifeless (from shock) fingers.

_Dearest Takeshi~_

_I LUBS YOU MAWR 333_

_Lubs, Gokudera Hayato._

Yamamoto was waving a hand in front of Gokudera's stunned and stone face. "Yo, Gokudera. You there?"

o0o0o0o0o0o

Of course, apart from the yaoi fangirl species, there was the normal type of fangirl.

Yamamoto was helping his dad in the shop, when a group of girls came into the store.

"Hello! Welcome! Just sit down and take a look at what we have!"

The girls practically dazzled in sparkles as they saw him. "We just want milk...one bottle each please!" they babbled.

Yamamoto was a bit surprised. People came in with the strangest of orders..one guy asked for squid ink...with ice. But milk? Okay...

He brought the bottles from the fridge. "Oh, I like milk a lot too!" He happened to casually comment.

What brought the hair on the back of his neck (which was strange, because last he checked, he didn't HAVE hairs on the back of his neck) standing on end was the reply.

"_We know. That's why we ordered this!"_

His thought: ...how did...they...know...

o0oo0o0o0o0o0o0o

Then you have the classic attempted seduction trick.

It was after one of the important inter-school matches, and Yamamoto was just sitting there staring blankly at the field.

A cheerleader, not from Namimori, walked over in all her mini-skirted glory. "Takeshi-kuun~~~" She crooned.

Evidently our dear Yamamoto hasn't yet figured that whenever any girl ends her sentences with "~~~", she was a fangirl. But it just adds to the fun/frustration, doesn't it.

He looked up uncertainly. "...Yo?"

The girl blushed. She went like, "Could...I...sit next to you?"

"...um, yeah, sure!" _...what is wrong with her?_

She giggled and sparkled, making Yamamoto frown in annoyance. He was going to get a headache from the stupid sparkling from the girl if this continued.

She turned so her skirt flew up and her undies showed. She flicked a look toward our poor victim to see if he was bewitched by her...undergarments, but he was too blinded by her sparkling, and had looked away.

She sat down...

...right into a puddle of spilt energy isotonic drink.

She squealed and stood up, immediately losing all her sparklyness, and Yamamoto turned back. "Oh no I'm so sorry!"

But the slutty painful insane fangirl whined and ran away, flashing soaked bottom as she fled.

_Meanwhile, 2 benches away..._

"Haha! That was BRILLIANT, Jyuudaime! I mean, we managed to make him think it was HIS fault, and we got rid of that stupid woman! HAHA! Great job, Jyuudaime! HAHA!"

"..._it was all your idea, Gokudera-kun..."_

o0o0o0o0o0o0o00o0o

Of course, then the fangirls' original plan finally set in motion.

Hibari and Yamamoto found themselves tied to each other on the rooftop one sunny afternoon.

Which didn't make sense, because Hibari is...Hibari. Undefeatable, even at the hands of that heating poison thing during the Ring Battle. But In Yamamoto's case, it was...fine.

Hibari had been drugged. As had Yamamoto.

And Hibari had a disgusting feeling that something really, really bad was about to happen.

...and he didn't need the video camera standing before them to give him a hint.

"...eh, Hibari..."

"...what."

"...why do you suppose we're tied up like this?"

Good question. Hibari had never thought much about Yamamoto Takeshi, and wondered what was going on, and what was the purpose.

"...as much as I hate working with herbivores, let's try working...to...gether...(CHOKE) to...get out of this ...mess". Hibari muttered. He hated to say it, but the teamwork was necessary for him to be able to bite the fangirls to dea...wait, they didn't deserve it. They would be more than happy to be bitten by him (cough). Heck, maybe he'd just stab them with his tonfas.

So after about ten minutes, they had managed to stand themselves up, Hibari had cut them free with his tonfas, and destroyed the camera and hurled it over the edge of the building like what he did with his first fangirl (see last chapter).

Hibari took the footage signal thingy (Yamamoto didn't really know what it was...it was just a tangled mass of wire and ...metal) to his office, scanned it, and set off out of the school.

"...Hey, Hibari! Where are you going?"

"...To bite...I mean, ...ergh. Just beat up some idiotic fangirls." It hurt not being able to use his catchphrase.

o0o0o0o0o0o

"...Was it really necessary to beat them up so bad? They're just....girls who like us a lot!"

"...You're one to talk."

"...true that."

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**PART TWO of weird Airport Omake thing**

...The Varia wanted to go on holiday TOO!

...

Bel: ...is something the matter, sir?

Guard:...um...uh...knives...

(SLASH BLOOD GORE M18)

Guard: X_X

Bel:...Fufufufufufu...

...

Guard 2: Ma'am, no sharp ob...

Squalo:...VOIII!!! DO I LOOK LIKE A GIRL TO YOU?!

Guard 2: (yes)...I'm..i'm sorry sir...but

Squalo: (beats up guy)

Guard 2: X_X

**REVIEWSSSSSS**


	4. ITS THE FANGIRLS! Rokudo Mukuro

**Yayy reviews! 3**

**Anyway, I know a bunch of you LOVELY reviewers are looking forward to the Varia section, but...yeah. There's all the guardians to get through first. (And Dino. 3 And Basil 3 Although I'm not sure if there are any mahd Basil fangirls)**

**Also, should I not put in a Tsuna section? As far as I know, people only fangirl over the TYL Tsuna, which isn't fair (And I haven't reached the part in the anime where he appears anyway. Tsuna IS in the future but his future self is...no where to be found. Yet.)**

**ARGH YOUTUBE IS LAGGY so I'm writing this! ;D**

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"Prisoner, two letters arrived through the mail."

Mukuro didn't stir. It might have been a trap, and besides, it never hurt to play dead.

It was hard to get mail down the hatch to him, and whoever did must be either very rich, powerful, or violent to get the letter down to this depth of hell they called the prison.

"I'll just read it to you then. First one is from...Tenth Vongola Boss as well as the Storm Guardian, Sawada Tsunayoshi and Gokudera Hayato. It reads:

_To Rokudo Mukuro (WE STILL HATE YOU)_

_We thought it best to inform you of the newest danger...even Reborn thought it necessary (NOT THAT YOU DESERVE IT YOU...(pencil scribbles as if the person who wrote it was pulled away roughly)) but there's a new enemy that will stop at nothing. They got Hibari, Yamamoto as well as Gokudera (NO THEY DIDN'T!) but now since they have stopped attacking us, we suspect that they have gone after you._

_Be careful,_

_Tsuna (and Gokudera...unwillingly)_

_PS Chrome is doing fine. She misses you. We think. (ALTHOUGH WHAT YOU DESERVED TO RECEI~~(more scribbles))"_

Mukuro heard the sounds of a lighter lighting up, and burning the first letter. He was a bit confused by the letter...if they had gone after Hibari and managed to 'get him', although he wasn't quite sure what they meant, he didn't think he was safe...and Tsuna? He was that powerful guy who got him here to begin with. This had to be...big.

"Second letter...uhh...

_Dearest Mukuro-sama~_

_We lubs you! And we'll get you out of that nasty, not-pwetty, not-sparkly dirthole soon! LUBS YOU LOTS, SWEETIEEEEE!~~_

_333, Hinabird and StrawberryKisses"_

The guard made gagging noises and turned to destroy the letter with nuclear material. When he left, Mukuro coughed and gagged like he had some kind of horrible tuberculosis or something in his tank. He couldn't hold in the urge any longer.

He was almost grateful to Tsuna and Gokudera for warning him.

_He had the feeling he was going to need it._

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

If the letter wasn't enough, they had taken the trouble to bring down food.

"Prisoner, it is not my business to be part of this (although indirectly it is since I'm the messenger and delivery dude) but...do you have someone very special outside of this facility?" asked the guard as he looked strangely at the flowery container that was sealed and marked "_for Mukuro-sama~~ 3"._

Mukuro took the trouble to open one eye. Not that he could answer anyway. _Yes...but I don't think Chrome is this...weird/dumb to do this sort of thing. Besides...Tsunayoshi would have said 'Beware of Chrome'...and not 'Beware these weird mysterious...female (probably) stalker people.'_

The guard seemed to vaguely understand what Mukuro was trying to say. The pathetic look in his eye answered his question enough. He opened the box.

Both the guard's and Mukuro's eyes bulged.

It was...pink scrambled eggs, with pink rice and strawberries at the side.

Mukuro didn't mind strawberries, but...bright friggin neon pink eggs and rice were enough to make you run to Bianchi and beg for Poison Cooking instead.

He would have thrown up there and then, if he wouldn't have choked up his only source of oxygen in that danged tank.

o0o0o0o0o0o0o

What came next was shocking, scary, but Mukuro honestly couldn't say he objected. At first.

True to their first delivery message, they busted him out.

Mukuro, being the mysterious assistant Guardian of Mist (assistant, because he does some of the work, after all), would have preferred a more...subtle method, but it appeared that his rescuers were not exactly the most subtle of people.

After all, subtlety was something that those with a certain amount of intelligence could appreciate. Which meant these people were out of the question, of course.

BOOM BOOM BOOM!!!

"...Hayato Gokudera?" was Mukuro's first thought, but he knew that the Storm Guardian wasn't _that_ stupid...unless Tsunayoshi had forgotten to keep him on a leash again.

"_One two three four, Who have we come for? Rokudo...Mukuro! Here we COOMMEE~~~"_

"...?!" was Mukuro's second thought. A bunch of females clad in black, some fat, some hideous, some with relative beauty but all had something in common: Crazy look in eye, and ROKUDO MUKURO printed in bright neon pink on each of their shirts.

It was scary, freaky, but hey, whatever. He was going to get busted out of there anyway.

So after a messy desperate fight against the guards (they won because their sparklyness and surprise attack had...surprised the guards. Not to mention driven them off the brink of sanity.), they had unlocked the tank, and poor Mukuro had collapsed onto the floor pitifully, because he hadn't used his muscles much. Kinda hard, really, when you're...you know, drugged and tied up and sealed in a water/liquid tank thing for months...yeah.

The girls then death glomped Mukuro, but it was okay. He was unconscious, so he didn't get the squeamish feeling the others had to go through.

Yet.

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Thus they sook to take him to their hideout, which was really this weird treehouse with posters of Mukuro and Mukuro dolls and other weird merchandise. There was even this Mukuro towel hanging up to dry. Mukuro wondered who used that towel, and...decided not to pursue the idea till he went mad or something.

The attention they showered upon him was shocking, and he kinda went into a traumatic stage. He _had _ to get out of here.

So he easily made an illusion of his sleeping self, and legged it back to the prison, and..get this..._begged the guards to imprison him._

They were of course, more than glad to be rid of the burden of needing to tell their superiors about the escaped prisoner, and took him in.

Floating in his tank, he smiled happily into his oxygen mask.

o0o0o0o0o0o0o

"...Chrome?!"

"Good afternoon, Boss. Mukuro-sama told me to tell you something."

"...um, okay. (MUKURO?! SERIOUSLY!? ...wonder if he got my mail) What is it?"

"He says, ZOMG THANK YOU SO MUCH TSUNAYOSHI I THOUGHT I WAS GONNA DIEEEEE."

"..."

"...sorry, I think my voice does not mimic his low baritone as well..."

"...Chrome...it's not really...that."

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**DONE!!!**

**Sorry the end it kinda rushed because I'm typing this at 11pm which isn't really late for most of you but yeah whatever.**

**ANYWAY iwillcontinuetodraw has posted her fic, Airport! She's too lazy to give me the link, so go find it yourself. I'll post it...eventually!**

**So, yeah. Have fun.**

**but first, REVIEW. ;D**

**me lubs you reviewers~~~!**


	5. ITS THE FANGIRLS! Sasagawa Ryohei

**iwillcontinuetodraw suggested that I should add a Tsuna section.**

**Me: ...But I don't know any crazy Tsuna fangirls!**

**IWCTD: there's one right here!**

**Me:...**

**But whatever. She only likes the TYL Tsuna, really. And I can't imagine how to write one.**

**So..**

**Disclaimer: I cannot draw Hibari. I cannot draw Basil (SOB). I cannot draw Gokudera (SOB^infinite). Therefore I deduce that I do not own KHR!.**

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He knew about them. He'd seen Sawada, Gokudera and Yamamoto encounter them.

He'd heard from Sawada that Dokuro informed him that Rokudo Mukuro had had a run in with them too.

But was he afraid?

Of course not. This is the brave/foolhardy/just plain stupid Sasagawa Ryohei, Captain of the Boxing Club in Namimori school.

He even thought these..._fangirls _ were kinda cool. After all, they took things to the **EXTREME!**

And anything **EXTREME** had to be good.

In fact, he was looking forward to his turn.

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He didn't really have to wait long.

Though little is known about the infamous _fangirl_, outsiders can pretty much sum them up in two words: _stalkerish,_ and_ unstoppable._ That was what made them so dangerous. It was almost as if they were on...Hyper Dying Will Mode...PERMANANTLY.

Well, that was fine. Ryohei was ALSO on Dying Will Mode...PERMANANTLY.

**EXTREME!**

Yeah, you get the idea.

So he was training as per normal in the gym, when the first of their assaults arrived.

When Ryohei punched his opponent over the edge and flying into a rack of shoes, he had expected the shoes to go flying along with the opponent, and the rack demolished.

The rack did disappear in a puff of shoes, dust, and opponent, but something else happened.

The whole thing exploded.

**BOOM!**

**EXTREME!**

'Boom' can be associated with Gokudera Hayato, everyone's favourite bomber Mafia guy. So naturally, Ryohei thought that Gokudera had left his dynamite somewhere in the shoes.

Until the big pink cloud of a heart shape floated out of the debris.

There was a message printed on the wall in bright neon pink (the signature colour of the _fangirl_) that said "WE LOVE YOU TO THE EXTREME!"

I think Ryohei didn't read the middle bit, because he said, "I LOVE **EXTREME** TOO!"

...everyone else who DID know how to read all went something along the lines of "O.O"

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"_If the victim does not know or fear us, there is no fun in what we do."—from the Official Fangirling Handbook, sourced from former Fangirl-turned-Fan._

Ryohei did not know this. And even if he did, he wouldn't care.

"It will push them to be MORE **EXTREME!**", he would say. Always the enthusiast. =_="

So, our all awesome hero (for this chapter) is immune to the silly wiles of the Evil _fangirl_, not paying them the attention they want.

So, they decide to please him and obey him, and go, really, to the **EXTREME!**

But not in the way he would have wanted them to.

They kidnapped his little sister.

Of course Kyoko is not a little girl, but to all Nii-sans and Fathers, the little girl will forever be little, even when she's 14.

Ryohei, being all extreme and all, was no exception. And unfortunately the fangirls knew that too.

They lured her with pretty flowers and sparkly gems (which were really just old bits of button and plastic illuminated by their _sparklyness_...all their money had been spent on merchandise.

And they sent him a ransom note, in bright neon pink, of course:

_Dearest Ryohei-chan~~_

_We have your sister! We want you to come~~_

_Clothing optional._

_(giggle giggle giggle)_

_^^ WE LUBS YOU TO THE EXTREME! (giggle giggle giggle)_

_--Hinabird, IchigoKisses, LUBSandHEARTZ, MrsSasagawaRyohei and FangirlzRulezHEART_

Ryohei's first thought: ...RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWR! KYOKO! THEY HAVE KYOKO!

Ryohei's second thought:..."Mrs Sasagawa Ryohei"?!...That's kind of extreme...and usually I like extreme, and this is scary...but still EXTREME! But...no. Still scary.

o0o0o0o0o0o

"He's here! He's here! GIGGLE GIGGLE SNIFF SNIFF CHUCKLE GIGGLE SNIGGER"

"MAXIMUM...CANNON!!!"

**EXTREME MAXIMUM BOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

"EEEEIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEE~!!!"

"My Ryohei3Me poster is RUINEDSSS~~"

"RYOHEI DARLIIIIIIIIIIIING~~"

"...Onii-san?!"

As one can imagine, the chaos was unimaginable.

It was the treehouse again, and instead of Mukuro posters it was all posters of Ryohei. Actually, it was a different treehouse. Same establishment, different department. Also, this was an angsana tree. Mukuro's tree was a Flame of the Forest. (because he was hot, so they reasoned, but someone said Flames of the Forest weren't even hot, then this started up an argument that Mukuro wasn't as hot as Gokudera, but that's another story altogether.)

A bunch of fangirls with "I HEART RYOHEI" shirts, and Kyoko tied to a fluffy pink bean bag chair.

"Kyoko!"

"Onii-san!"

"RYOHEI!!!"

Obviously, being fangirls, they endeavoured to grab a piece of him before he left/beat them to a pulp. He easily evaded them, and untied Kyoko and was about to flee and jump out of the accursed HQ, but one of the fangirls yelled.

"RYOHEI, STOP FOR A MOMENT PLEASE!"

Ryohei turned.

"...what...d..do you think of...of our...SHRINE TO THE ALMIGHTY LORD (blasphemy! disgusting crazy fangirls! *gets shot*) OF BOXING?"

Ryohei looked around. Pink was never going to be his style.

"It is extreme."

The girls shimmered and SPARKLED until they were almost as bright as the bulbs in the Sun Ring fight in the Ring Conflict, and Ryohei immediately yelled.

"But I still don't like it! It is **EXTREME**LY HORRIBLE!"

The sparkles disappeared like Lissuria's smile when he realised he was going to have his butt kicked by Ryohei.

"Goodbye!" He bellowed as he escaped.

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

They weren't really done with him yet.

He received a pair of pink fluffy boxers in the mail.

Kyoko's only comment was that if he was going to throw it away, could she have the lace?

He cut the lace off, and looked at the boxers.

He decided he had a better idea.

o0o0o0o0o0o0o00o0o0

"HIEEEE?!"

"It would make you look more **EXTREME **since everytime you go all **EXTREME**, no offence Sawada, but your boxers could do with more OOMF! You know, like, BRIGHT! AND ALL **EXTREME!!!**"

"...It's really your job, since you're the guardian of the Sun, and I wouldn't..i couldn't possibly outshine you..eheh...eheh...hehehe..." (turns around and sprints away)

"SAWADA! COME BACK! No matter, you can NEVER OUTRUN ME! **EXTREMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!"**

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! REBORN HELP MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE"

"SAWADAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!"

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**MY CHAPTERS ARE GETTING HORRIGIBLY SHORTER! O.O**

**But whatever.**

**NO there is NO TsunaRyohei intended whatsoever.**

**REVIEW.**

**And next will probably be Dino. Unless some more tsuna fangirls pop up.**

**NO iwillcontinuetodraw, YOU DO NOT COUNT.**


	6. ITS THE FANGIRLS! Dino Cavellone

**WHEE it's Dino's turn! (should I be happy that my second favourite character is going to be harassed by fangirls? O_O)**

**Dino has the same birthday as ME! WHEE~ (shoot! I used the Speech of a Fangirl sign! NO!!!)**

**4****th**** February! 333 ah okay, now I'm acting like the things I despise...O_O**

**ON TO THE FICCCCC~~~**

**...oh no! **

**WARNING: There is some implied T-rated stuff from crazy yaoi fangirls. Therefore if you're under the age of 8, you might not want to read this.**

**Actually, you would, wouldn't you. =_=**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Katekyo Hitman Reborn! HOW on EARTH did you GUESS!**

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FANGIRL SECRET FILES 023139524: TARGET 6

NAME: DINO CAVELLONE

DESCRIPTION: KYAAA~~ BLONDE. ITALIAN. USES WHIP. HAS LITTLE PET TURTLE THAT TURNS UBER BIG WHEN EXPOSED TO WATER. 22 YEARS OLD. TSUNA'S SORT OF OLDER BROTHER. LIKES (UNCONFIRMED BUT WE REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY WISH SO) HIBARI KYOUYA (SEE TARGET 2)

TACTICS:

WAY TO A MAN IS THROUGH HIS STOMACH...

o0o0o0o0o0o0o

"Dino-san!"

"Yo, Tsuna! I got your letter about the...enemy."

"...oh. Glad to see that you're okay. Weren't you leaving for Italy or something?"Tsuna questions.

"Yep! Thought I'll stop by to see my little brother, and of course grab a snack!" Dino grins childishly.

As the two (excluding Romario because no one really notices him much) turn to walk into Tsuna's house, something in the air flies...

...and hits Tsuna squarely on the head.

"HIIEEEE..." and he collapses on the floor.

"Tsuna!" Dino yells. Then he has a puzzled look on his face. He thought it was a rock, dynamite, brick, or something vaguely dangerous as an attempt on the Vongola Tenth's life, and that he had FAILED as Tsuna's sort-of nii-san to protect him.

Instead, it was a black bento box, with a pink construction paper heart on it, with "_Dino 3"_ written on it.

In _bright, neon, PINK._

Afraid to touch it, he kicked the box open with his sneaker, holding his whip ready, Romario ready on stand-by.

Inside, were the specialty _pink eggs and ham._

Dino remembered a funny poem he had read once that went like, _Green Eggs and Ham, Green Eggs and Ham. Oh how I love, Green Eggs and Ham._

PINK eggs and ham...that was just freaky. Tsuna woke up, crawled weakly onto his arms, turned his head and looked at the bento.

"HIIIIIIEEEE! PINK EGGS AND HAM!" And promptly fainted again.

Dino raised his whip, wrapped the whip around his little 'gift', and hurled it into the distance...

_Into the Distance..._

Hibari was lying on the rooftop, contemplating his plans to rule the world of pathetic herbivores, as usual, watching Hibird fly about in the air like yellow cotton wool.

The black and pink splats in the air joined the yellow wool in the air, making a very interesting colour scheme.

Or so Hibari thought until the stuff landed on his face.

If he wasn't Hibari Kyouya, he might just have screamed.

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

...FAILED. APPARENTLY THE ONLY FOOD HE'LL EAT IS TSUNA'S MOM'S COOKING. MORE INTELLIGENCE MISSIONS NEEDED.

THROUGH HIBARI KYOUYA...

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

"Your mother's cooking is awesome as ever, Tsuna!" Dino grinned as he pushed a scraped clean plate away from him.

"She'll be glad to hear that, but she left for the market..." Just then, a bird's voice could be heard through the glass.

"_Midori...uhm, something something! Namimori..."_

"Is that Hibari's bird?"

"...has Hibird ever sang _that_ badly?"

"...hm. Good point, Dino-san. But then...what..."

They turned to see Hibird...no, _Hina_bird in the window. She was holding a little piece of paper in her little claws, which were cute, but not as cute as Hibird's of course, since Hinabird is just a stupid fangirl's cheap imitation of Hibird. Don't do piracy, be original. Buy authentic manga and anime merchandise! Only 5 times the price!

Dino unrolled the piece of paper. Tsuna peeked over his shoulder.

"I ...don't think he wrote this." Tsuna said as he eye-twitched.

"From what you tell me, it seems like _their_ style..."

_Dearest sensei Dino-sama~._

_I REALLY REALLY REALLY WANNA BITE YOU TO DEATH! Rawr~! ^^_

_Meet at Namimori School Rooftop tonite at 9pm! 3_

_LOTS OF LUBS (and bites)_

_Hibari Kyouya._

"...I am almost...tempted to...vomit..." Dino gagged.

Just then, Tsuna's mother came home. She saw Tsuna holding Hinabird in his hand, and said:

"Oh, Tsu-kun! What a LOVELY bird! It would go lovely with the spinach stew I was planning to try out today!"

Hinabird flinched as Tsuna's Mother approached her with a smile...

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Tsuna had decided to bring along Gokudera and Yamamoto with him, because...well, they were the only Guardians worth bringing...(I mean, who else is there? Hibari was...already sort of there. Lambo would be useless. Mukuro/Chrome would be...pointless. And scary.)

Dino had a faint idea of what had been planned by "Hibari". He figured that his student would probably hate him, and would try to bite him to death anyway. Not in the...sexual connotation way that _they_ hoped though.

They reached the rooftop and Tsuna, Gokudera and Yamamoto agreed to stay out of sight until the targets arrived.

So there was Hibari, covered in pink eggs and ham, tied up in a corner, and a bunch of fangirls with "WE HEART DINOxHIBARI".

Dino flinched. "What have you done to Kyouya?"

"...AWW! HE'S SAD THAT HIS LOVER IS HURT! SO ...YAOIIII! SQUEAL!" They...squealed. Dino facepalmed, and the three Vongola people hiding behind the water tower sweatdropped. Gokudera cursed.

"Now, Dino-sama, we have prepared him LOVELY and TIED UP and brought to you...just like a present! Now make the most of it!" squealed a fangirl.

"...can I just untie him and get out of here?"

"..you could, but...isn't it FUN? Don't you like BONDAGE? ...I mean, you're the guy with a WHIP, for goodness sakes! Put it to some good use for once!"

Dino went red with fury/embarrassment. Tsuna and Gokudera went red because they understood what was going on. Yamamoto, clueless as usual, went "What? Tell me, guys!"

Hibari woke up. "...herbivore..." he growled at Dino.

"Now you're gonna have an EVEN HARDER TIME WITH HIBARI!!!" whined a fangirl.

"...yay! Violence AND M-rated hentai yaoi! ^^" went another.

Dino went redder, and rushed over to untie Hibari.

Hibari growled. "I don't need your help. Can't you even beat up these herbivores?...stupid herbivore."

"One thing, Kyouya. I eat meat too. Another thing, can't you EVER be grateful for once?"

"...I don't need help..."

"Whatever."

Hibari stood up and pushed the pink...substances off his hair. Dino whistled innocently as he realised what happened. Hibari glanced at Dino, but said nothing.

"Now, let us bite these herbivores to death!" Dino grinned happily.

"...that's MY line, herbivore." growled Hibari.

"...I think you need to see a doctor for your throat. You've been croaking and growling all day!"

"..." Hibari decided not to bother anymore, and charged at the fangirls.

Tsuna grabbed Gokudera and Yamamoto out of there before the violence scarred them for life.

o0o0o0o0o0o0oo

...FAILED

ALL MISSIONS SUSPENDED UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE.

OR UNTIL OUR WOUNDS HEAL SUFFICIENTLY.

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**...done!**

**I think I may have to change the rating...if this continues.**

**Crazy fangirls.**

**REVIEW**


	7. ITS THE FANboys? Dokuro Chrome

**I was planning on writing Xanxus but then requests came in for Chrome...and Tsuna. But seriously, I have no idea how to write Tsuna.**

**So I'll pick Chrome.**

**...fanboys. Another scary thing.**

**You know the drill: Saya tidak...own Katekyo Hitman Reborn!. And I need to revise my Malay..despite quiting Malay Third Lang early this year. (shrugs)...XD**

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While the enemies took care of their injuries, the Chairgirl called a meeting.

"C'mon you gals! We suck! Getting beaten up by our objects of affection is...is...JUST AWESOME!~~"

The girls, covered with bandages, drips, and painful looking splints, all in unison, echoed. "AWESOME~~~"

"But at the current moment, all of us are down. We are low on numbers, supplies, and morale."

"NO WE'RE NOT~~~!" they protested, but an "OWW~~" came from behind a chair, which was followed by another shout of "GIRL DOWN! GIRL DOWN!" **(1)**

"...sigh~" went the Chair. Then she took out a remote control...bright neon pink, of course, and pressed a button on it. A projector at the back of the room turned on and shone on the screen behind her on the wall of the treehouse. "ARGH MY EYES!"

"..."all the fangirls sweatdropped..which was followed by a squeak as the sweat dripped into a head wound, stinging her...non-existent brain. (Sorry I think I'm being too lame)

After this brief moment of ridiculous chaos only a fangirl could cause, the presentation started, with a picture of a group of boys.

"...it's...GUYS! ...but they aren't ANYTHING like my PRECIOUS DEAREST GOKUDERA-SAMAAA~~~" squealed one.

"No way! That guy...is he cosplaying as Hibari? ....KAWAIIIII~~~" squeaked one from the Hibari division.

"...that...that's the...BACKstreet Boys!!"

"'fanBoy Association of Chrome doKuro'street Boys!!!"

"...no WAY."

"Yeah. Aren't they awesome?"

"...No. I'm saying, 'No WAY, that is SUCH a stupid name."

The Chair raised a hand for silence. The fangirls united, screamed for 2 seconds in their highest pitch, and then silence. Outside, a bird fell from its perch and landed on the ground. Thud.

"Hinabird!" gasped one.

The Chair stood, and banged her fists on the table. "We have no choice but to send our allies, the BACKstreet Boys into action. Unfortunately they won't be able to stalk our DARLINGS~~~ but instead they mostly go after girls."

She turned and pressed another button. It showed a picture of the Vongola family. "The circled ones are...or have been our targets. What is not, is _their_ job."

"...but Chair-sama! There is only...one..."

"Yes, MyDarlinIsGokuChan. That will be their job."

All the girls gasped. The Chair sighed. "Yes I know you are sad that they only have one target but..."

The girls interrupted with wails of despair. "WE WANNA STALK CHROME DUKURO TOO~~~"\

The Chair fainted and fell out of the window, squishing little Hinabird, who had recently just escaped from Tsuna's Mom's clutches.

"...tweeett...~~~" moaned Hinabird as she slipped into unconsciousness.

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

"um...who are you again, mister?" Chrome asked, with big, blue, innocent eye (and patch, which isn't very innocent since it has a skull on it, but yeah. Whatever.)

"I...I...I'm just a ...a...school boy? And...I...uh...uh...wan-wanted to...um, see..."

Ken and Chikusa turned their heads from the sweet store display cabinets to see Chrome being approached by a stammering idiot of a lovestruck school boy.

"HEY! Get away from her!" yelled Ken...as usual.

"Ken..." Chrome turned to him. Then she turned to the boy. "I'm sorry, my friend here is rather overprotective of me." (Ken swore violently at the idea of him being her 'friend' and being 'overprotective'...he's just in denial. ^^) "What is it that you want from me?"

"...I...I..." He threw down his glasses in a dramatic way, fell to his knees like Gokudera did when he pledged pretty much his life to the Juudaime, and spread his arms as if falling before an angel. Actually, he DID think he was falling before an angel, and in his mind this looked very romantic and dramatic and awesome, but to Chrome, Ken, Chikusa, and the sweet store man, he just looked MAHD.

"CHROME DUKURO!" he said, rather loudly and dramatically (And annoyingly, Ken muttered to Chikusa). Chrome flinched in shock...both in volume and the fact that he knew her name. "I AM YOUR BIGGEST FAN!" He fell to her feet. Ken immediately ran over and pulled Chrome away, and kicked the poor boy's head into the ground.

"YOU (insert favourite profanity here)! TRYING TO LOOK UP CHROME'S SKIRT!" Then he put on those weird teeth and gained the powers of a tiger.

"I'LL MAUL YOU TO DEATH!"

As Chrome sighed and paid for her sour candy, ignoring Ken as he killed the boy, she told the shopkeeper. "I'm sorry, sir. I don't think I know those two guys."

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"...Chair-sama! Chair-sama! See, see? We could do MUCH better than that!" whined IchigoKisses to the Chair, as they viewed everything through a secret camera that Hinabird was carrying. Hinabird hid amongst the yellow fluffy cotton candy, where no one could see her.

"...Well, I don't think you can do anything, IchigoKisses-chan. You see, a person with a drip, three fractures and excessive brain fluid is not going to be able to stalk very well."

"...CHAIR-SAMAA~~~"

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Then came the more...passive fanboy. Oops I just revealed the enemy!

Although if you hadn't figured it out yet...you need Chrome to unfog your mind for you.

Chrome was walking with Ken and Chikusa in front of her, when suddenly a brick flew by. Chrome saw it first and gasped, and tried to say something, but the brick had hit Ken on the...place where the sun don't shine. Just saying.

"$#(#$*#$^#$(*#&$^#($*#&$#$#($)#*$#)$*#$#%8#$)%*# of a #*$#)$*#ing #$#$(#*$ of a #$#$)#$328)#*%#$#$)#$*#)$###?????" he yelped, voice getting higher and higher until he collapsed on his side, holding....where the sun dun shun. (if you can translate that)

Chikusa nudged the unconscious idiot with the toe of his sneaker. When he received no response, he decided to take out his yoyos. ...you know, just in case another one came.

Chrome was shocked. "Ken!" But the brick interested her more. Mukuro, who was watching the events through her eyes, instructed her to ignore the idiot on the floor and get the brick. He too, was more interested in the note that was tied to the brick.

"Roses are red,

Mukuro's eye too.

Your eye's like the moon,

unreachable, but beautiful."

Chikusa looked at the note. "Unromantic, horrible, and no fixed rhyme scheme. The third and last line inply that this person would like to gouge out your eye." He stood to attention. "Shall I take care of him, Chrome?"

Mukuro hissed angrily, and Chrome flinched. To hear Mukuro hiss was unpleasant, but hearing it from within your own head is..well, unpleasantER.

"No...I don't think..." Chrome started, but another brick came hurling by. Chrome used her trident's sharp end and jabbed it into Chikusa's butt, which was turned toward her as he turned to pursue the mahdman who threw the first brick. He yelped and jumped forward, safely out of the brick's way. Mukuro hummed in amusement and approving of her improvisation and ...well, the fact that Chikusa just got his butt pricked in a bid to save his...anything (obviously inclusive of the 'place where the sun dun shun') was, admittedly despite his dislike for slapstick humour, funny.

"PLUNK" went the brick. There was another note on it too. Chrome poked it with her trident, and the brick poofed into pink smoke. "Ten-Year bazooka..?" wondered Chikusa aloud.

Instead, it was the pink heart in smoke.

"...but that's the trademark of the fan_girl._ You are being stalked by..._boys_, are you not?" Chikusa asked.

Chrome said nothing. Mukuro seethed. He had no desire to see his Chrome get tortured by these...creeps, like he was, only he didn't really mind at first.

Like this, people would get hurt. Mukuro didn't mind if Ken and Chikusa and generally everyone else in the world got hurt, but...if Chrome got hurt...

That's it. He took over Chrome, teleported over to where he estimated where the brick had come from. There, he saw fangirls and fanboys fighting over bricks and pieces of paper. They gasped when they heard his evil laugh.

"mu...Mu...Mukuro-sama?!" yelled the girls. The guys simply stared.

"That's right. Now, shall we begin?" He smiled evilly, raised his trident, and sent them all into the depths of hell.

_Meanwhile..._

Gokudera, Yamamoto and Tsuna were walking out of the candy shop and munching on candy.

"Ugh! Juudaime, how do you stand this...sour stuff?"

"...not everyone likes it, Gokudera-kun. Try the watermelon drops instead if you don't like it."

"NO! Juudaime! I must prove myself to be worthy as your right-hand man!"

"...okay...but not THIS way!"

Yamamoto laughed, and looked around. He wondered why a familiar pineapple head was holding an oversized fork in a fighting stance, with a bunch of boys and girls suspended in the air screaming their heads off. He grinned. "Hey Tsuna, Gokudera, lets go watch that magic show!"

Gokudera and Tsuna looked in the direction that Yamamoto pointed to.

"Mukuro?!?!" yelled Tsuna.

Then they sprinted toward the laughing maniac.

"DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE!!! "

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**Something you learn in uniformed groups/war. Usually they say "MAN DOWN!" but since...they are all girls...yeah obvious much?**

**I would have made a (2) but it's kinda irrelevant. The last part where Mukuro says DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE! is kinda actually a quote. In Tales of Vesperia, a Xbox 360 RPG TOTALLY PWNSOME game, there's this insane guy with wild pink and yellow hair who loves fighting and looks awfully like Ken, really. So he always tries to kill the main character and he LOVES to say "DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE!!!" while maniacally laughing and ...killing all my characters. Repeatedly.**

**Maybe Mukuro plays ToV too? (looks hopefully)**

**Never mind.**

**REVIEW and request.**

**Next: (probably) Xanxus. Aren't you LOOKING FORWARD TO IT? (holds trident to person who tries to say No.)**


	8. ITS THE FANGIRLS! Xanxus

**Gomenasai for the late update.**

**Merci for the reviews...^^**

**I bring ye brethren (and sisters)...CHAPTER (fill in the blank)**

**Disclaimer: I FINALLY OWN SOMETHING ANIME/MANGA/GAME RELATED...THE TALES OF VESPERIA CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT BOOK (which is entirely in Japanese...damn!) but I don't own anything related to Katekyo except for the countless doodles of Tsuna and Gokudera (SEPERATELY, of course). (inhales deeply) Yeah. So no I don't own. Duh.**

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"VOIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII"

The postman screamed and ran away in fear, as Squalo bent and picked up the letter he dropped before he heard the "Loudest Mafiaso in the Vongola family". Squalo cackled ebilly while Lussuria walked over.

"Squalo! You are so mean! That's the 5th postman this week to have run away like that! You need to be more _loving and gentle _like me!"

"VOII! We are the VARIA! We don't DO _loving and gentle_! We RIP IT TO BITS AND CRUSH IT BENEATH OUR BOOTS! HAHAHA!" To demonstrate, he threw the letter to the floor and stomped on it beneath his boot.

"AH, SQUALO!" Lussuria cried in horror. "That letter was addressed to Xanxus-sama!"

"VOI?!"

The two proceeded to scrabble at the letter like it was gold.

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

"...ah, Xanxus-sama, we have a ...letter for you!"

"Bring it here."

"...Uhm, I think we'll just read it to you."

Xanxus raised an eyebrow but gestured for them to carry on.

Lussuria opened the letter, turned his back to Xanxus, and read.

"To Xanxus, we have..."

"Lussuria! I can't hear you!"

"I...I'm sorry, Xanxus-sama! I'll reread..."

"VOII YOU STUPID HISSY. I'll read it."

"NONO IF YOU READ IT WE WILL ALL GO DE.."

"**VOIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIiiii**"

Xanxus facepalmed. Every day in the Varia was a fun/exciting/stressful day, always tiring, but never boring. Yet if he appeared to enjoy it, he'd never get the respect of his underlings.

Bel walked in, and sighed. He picked up the letter which had been dropped on the floor and now Squalo and Lussuria were spiting at each other. "This is so beneath the prince..." sighed Bel.

"_To Xanxus,_

_We wish to inform you of the latest threat to the Vongola...they are known as the Fangirl and are more capable of havoc than they seem to be...beware, for they have gotten to even Rokudo Mukuro and caused considerable damage to everyone. _

_Sincerely,_

_Reborn (on behalf of the Vongola Juudaime)"_

"Ushishishishishi~ This sounds fun!" Bel chuckled.

Xanxus frowned.

That would explain why his toilet bowl turned pink with glittery "WE LUBS XAN-XAN-POO" all over it.

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

"Do you think he's going to listen, Reborn?"

"If he doesn't, he'll deserve all that's coming to him, Juudaime!"

"..."

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

"Roses are Red,

As are my Xan-xan-chan's scars.

His flame reflects my heart's desire,

for Xanxus my dream man's arms around me.

Violets are Blue,

Like Colonello's eyes and pacifier.

If I had a life,

I would devote it all to you.

_Loves and kisses, XanXanSamaHEARTZ"_

Xanxus' eye twitched. "TRASH! WHAT ARE YOU READING?!"

"Ushishishishi, this came in the mail today."

Lussuria looked up from his knitting to see a very pretty, but very hot lava flame blast out from the door. Squalo, who happened to just pass by, had the edges of his hair singed, which was followed, of course, by a:

**VOIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII**

Lussuria stuffed the two balls of wool into his ears, and walked over to stab Squalo in the butt with his knitting needles.

Somewhere, a teen boy went "ushishishishi~"

Somewhere else, a teen girl went "TEEHEEHEEHEEHEE!~~"

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Xanxus left the HQ to walk about...

...okay, that's a lie. He knew it, and so do you. The third letter told him to take a walk in the park at 9am the next day. He would have preferred to stay at home and...rot on his throne, but there was nothing really better to do.

"XAN-XAN-POO YOU CAME!~~"

"WHAT THE HELL..." Xanxus thought as he turned to the voice.

"IN ALL THE LIVING THINGS IN THE ETERNAL REALM OF THE RELLS, WHAT THE FRIGGIN RELL IS GOING ON?! **[1]**" Xanxus exclaimed as he saw what beheld him.

A cardboard figure, lifesized, of Sawada Tsunayoshi, Vongola Juudaime, in a pink bikini.

Did you catch that the first time?

I said, Xanxus saw **A CARDBOARD FIGURE OF SAWADA TSUNAYOSHI, TENTH BOSS OF THE VONGOLA FAMILIGIA, IN A BLIDDY EFFING PINK BIKINI.**

I forgot to mention: The thing SPARKLED.

"Xan-xan-poo! Don't you wanna COME here and ..." Xanxus swore he saw the figure's eyebrows rise and fall suggestively.

First thing Xanxus did, was to clear his stomach and intestines of Lussuria's _Loving Breakfast of LURVE_.

Second thing, was of course, like any insane Varia member would do, was to, ahem: "RIP IT TO BITS AND CRUSH IT BENEATH OUR BOOTS! HAHAHA!" (quote Squalo)

'LEONE DI CIELO **[2] , **Ligre Tempesta Decielo'

"HIEEEE!" went the ridiculously high pitched voice that, even though Tsuna is voiced by a girl, was waay beyond Tsuna's pitch.

"DIE TRASH!" screamed Xanxus as his little pet chased the hysterical fangirl.

"I AM EFFING SINGLE, EFFING STRAIGHT, AND NOT EFFING GOING AFTER A LITTLE BOY WHO IS SUPPOSED TO BE DISTANTLY YET NOT BLOOD RELATED TO ME. RAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR"

o0o0oo0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

They weren't ready to give up.

"This...is either a Cervello bitch without the mask, or a Squalo with pink hair."

"..." Even Bel had lost his Ushishishi~.

"...it...is...SO CUUUUUTEEE~~~ KAWAIIII~~~"

Bel and Xanxus stared incredulously at Lussuria. "Are you somewhat related to these fangirls, Lussuria?"

"...Oh, nonono! It is just, very adorable! Especially with the GORGEOUS pink RIBBONS! And the lovely dress! Kawaii~~! The only way I can tell that it is Squalo is the sword, which has been TASTEFULLY covered with SAKUR..."

Lussuria's face was slammed into the floor, with Squalo's boot firmly placed on the back of his head.

Xanxus and Bel stuffed their fingers into their ears.

**VOIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII**

Xanxus took out his fingers, and took out the note that stuck out of the Squalo/Cervello bitch doll's hair.

"_Squalo requested us to send this to you. He loves you, really."_

Xanxus obliterated the piece of paper without showing it to Squalo. He didn't need help in destroying the trash.

The doll, on the other hand, Lussuria stole it and kept it in his chest of personal belongings, where it dwells to this day, and Squalo still seeks for its destruction.

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o00o00o0o

As always, the Varia lives up to the Assasination job.

When something's bad, don't bother with the underlings. Wait, no. Bother with them if they mess with you, _then_ go after their boss.

Xanxus and Co. decided to pay the fangirls a visit.

"Ohayo, do you have an appointment?" asked the receptionist, who was a Hibari fangirl and paid no attention to anything or anyone else.

"No. But you do. With death. DIE TRASH!!!"

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Reborn sat on Tsuna's shoulder.

Tsuna sat on the ground.

Gokudera sat on Yamamoto....'s right. HA GOT YOU THERE.

Yamamoto sat there...and laughed.

"Xanxus really roasted them good there, didn't he?"

"Yeah..you kinda have to feel sorry for them."

"They deserved every bit of it. You're still too soft, Dame Tsuna."

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**FINITO!**

**[1] Me and a friend, ferrero, made up a comic thing that turned more manga-ish as we discovered manga halfway through writing/drawing the comic. The comic features a world unlike ours, made of illusions, called the Eternal realm. All the people, called Rell, wear cloaks and all pretty much look the same. They actually are quite cute...^^ But then I made them up so I'm a bit biased. **

**[2] And then there's this. His box weapon and it's most powerful attack. Cute little leopard lion thingy, I think. iwillcontinuetodraw told me about it. (shrugs)**

**REVIEWS?**

**next chapter: Dame Tsuna! Yes, I have found a lot of Tsuna fangirls.**


	9. ITS THE FANGIRLS! Sawada Tsunayoshi

**Yes I'm high on reviews. No I still don't understand how Tsuna can have fangirls, but he does. **

**Sensitive new-age guy, or simply sissy?**

**I vote the latter (gets shot by Tsuna fangirls)**

**X_X**

**But if you KHEEL me, I can't type this chapter!**

**(Tsuna fangirls withdraw fire; send Estelle from Tales of Vesperia to heal)**

**Okay, that's ...better. (Thinks to self: I had better type this good...or risk becoming Squalo fud.)**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own, but I DO own numerous horrigible drawings of Gokudera, and not too horrigible drawings of Tsuna, and rather accurate drawings of Lambo, and an irritating little cousin who resembles Lambo so much, it shocks me.**

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"We haven't received any reports of fangirl attacks lately, have we?" questioned Tsuna, worriedly.

"No we haven't. Which either means Xanxus beat them up really badly, or they are planning their next attack, which is taking longer than usual." Reborn replied, sipping a cup of coffee.

"...why would planning take so long?" wondered Tsuna.

"Because that person probably is heavily defended," pondered Gokudera, scribbling weird drawings of skulls and...scribbles on the back of his math worksheet, "and probably little manpower to go on it."

"Haha, Gokudera! The way you describe it, I would think you're talking about Tsuna!" Yamamoto laughed.

Gokudera stiffened. He hadn't realised that.

"HIEEEEEEEEEEEEE! THEY ARE GOING TO COME AFTER ME!"

"Shut up, Dame Tsuna. What makes you think that girls are crazy enough to come after you? Apart from Haru and Kyoko, that is." Reborn said, throwing the cup saucer at Tsuna's head, which Tsuna barely dodged.

"Reborn! How could you say that? He's the JUUDAIME! If girls didn't come after him, then they don't know what's best for them!" Evidently, Gokudera is one of those people who think that Tsuna is the new age sensitive guy...either that or he's just biased.

Yamamoto simply laughed, while Tsuna trembled in fear.

_Tee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee!_

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Pop quiz! Pick your FAVOURITE DISH OUT OF THE THREE!

Bianchi's cooking.

Your mother's cooking.

A Fangirl's cooking.

Flynn Scifo's cooking.

Honestly, 1) was a killer (literally), 2) was comforting, 3)...rendered one speechless (instead of commenting, you screamed), 4) was non-existent, but from what we can deduce, it's bad. Really, really bad.

But Tsuna didn't have a choice. Locked up in a dark room tied to a chair, there wasn't anything to eat except 3). (Ha, 2)? you wish Tsuna was that lucky...he wishes it more.)

Pink porridge with sparkly fried shallots.

It even _smelled _bright neon pink.

It was the only source of illumination in the room.

Tsuna looked to the ceiling. _Why meee...._

It had all started...after school.

_Flashback:_

_Gokudera, Yamamoto and Tsuna were walking back to Tsuna's house to do...oh the horror, MATH. _

_Suddenly, Yamamoto tripped over a trip wire, accidentally pulled on Tsuna's backpack, sending them both crashing on the floor. Gokudera had stopped, only to be taken out by a swinging trash can, attached to pink rope from a tree next to them._

_The three collapsed on the floor together, rather entangled. Of course, Gokudera had complained about Yamamoto's idiocity and the fact that they had to be...oh the horrors, TOUCHING each other, which was about as bad to Gokudera as math was bad to Tsuna._

_And Yamamoto simply scratched his head dumbly and chuckled at his clumsiness. Tsuna attempted to pull himself out from under Gokudera but Yamamoto's leg was blocking something which prevented Tsuna from doing so. _

_Which created the perfect opportunity for _them_ to come out and catch them all._

_...which brings us back to the present..._

_End Flashback:_

Where were Gokudera-kun and Yamamoto?

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

He tried to activate his Dying Will flame.

The rope wouldn't budge, but at least the porridge had combusted and evaporated and obliterated from the heat in a puff of sparkles and pink smoke.

The chair has partially melted, but still stood.

_What the heck is this stuff made of?!_ thought Tsuna as he frantically blasted with his strongest flames.

"Tsu-kun, tut tut! That's not going to work~~! Our rope is made from our finest LOVE and FANGIRLISM which is stronger than any metal in the UNIVERSE~~!" went the sickly sweet voice that had brought him here to begin with.

"And you look SO HOT AND AWESOME when you're in your Dying Will mode now...although, I do miss the times where your _clothes_ came off...tee hee~!" went the girl as she walked over to raise the chair with a lifting device of sorts onto a cart of sorts and tow him away...of sorts.

Fangirls are so weird, they do everything 'of sorts'. Yes, her previous statement nearly made me puke. It also made poor Tsuna nearly puke, too.

Tsuna's Dying Will mode had exhausted him, and he decided to turn it off. He was starving, but heck, ANYTHING was better than eating pink food. Unless, of course, the food was purple and had weird looking bugs and pieces sticking out of it and Gokudera had fainted and there was a red haired woman saying "Won't you eat my food that's prepared with LOVE."

Yeah, just saying. So Tsuna instead wondered where the fangirl was taking him, and blocked out the sick fantasies the girl was telling him about, about oh, how she LOVED him so much she just wanted to TAKE HIM HOME and...

Fortunately Tsuna knew how to block things like that out. He learnt that from school. Which partially explained his horrible results in tests and exams.

"We're here, Tsu-kun!"

Tsuna felt weird shivers down his spine...

"Gokudera-kun! Yamamoto!" he shrieked in horror.

Gokudera and Yamamoto were tied to a bed. Yeah. Together.

"HIEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!"

"JUUDAIME!'

"Tsuna! Glad to see you're okay!"

The two were tied next to each other with their clothes fully on, although from the rumpled shirts and 2 fangirls at the sides bandaged up it was evident they had tried (and failed) to strip them.

"Now, now, my GORGEOUS little Tsu-kun, take your pick~! Either order them to make some lemons (giggles here), make out with Gokudera, or join them on the bed! TEE HEE!"

The three boys gagged. "YOU SICK FREAKS! Let me out and I'll SHRED YOU ALL TO BITS WITH MY DYNAMITE!" yelled Gokudera.

"Isn't there any other way?!" yelled Tsuna, but the fangirl had decided.

"Let's make you do ALL THREE! First, let's make you make out with Gokudera to get things WARMED UP~~ teehee!"

It was a struggle, but they tied Gokudera's hands to Tsuna's.

"As much as I admire you, Juudaime, I don't even WANT to DO THIS." muttered Gokudera.

"s...same here, Gokudera-kun. I feel like vomiting..."

"...wait, I have an idea! You can jump over my head and take out that fangirl behind me, and then I'll kick at that girl over there, and..."

"Gokudera-kun! I can't jump like that!"

"You're the Juudaime! I'm SURE YOU CAN!"

"..."

"..okay? One, two.."

"WAIT I HAVEN'T EVEN..."

"THREE!"

Gokudera flung the screaming boy over his head, sending his flailing legs kicking away the fangirl behind him, and Gokudera struck out at the fangirl in front. The force of their actions tore the rope apart.

"THEIR LOVE FOR EACH OTHER PARTED THE BONDS OF OUR FANGIRLISM!" squealed the remaining fangirls.

Gokudera and Tsuna wisely ignored that. Gokudera whipped out his dynamite while Tsuna went to free Yamamoto from the accursed sick bed.

"ROCKET BOMB!"

**BOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM**

**...extreme?**

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

"From my guess, that big brilliant plan took so much energy and brainpower (and with the lack of man...I mean, _girl_power), they won't try to attempt another ridiculous hit."

"But then, knowing them...damn that was...so..UGH. Almost as bad as seeing..."

"Hello, Hayato."

"ANEEKI**(A/N: pardon me if I spelt it wrong...Ah= a, neh= nee, ki=...ki. Ja, or nein?)**...(gurgle choke die)"

"...oh dear, it must have been something he ate."

"...Bianchi!"

"Ah shut up, Dame Tsuna."

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**I HAVE A BRILLIANTE IDEA FOR A NEW FIC.**

**But to keep it faithful I shall only create it...AFTER this fic is more or less finito.**

**NEXT CHAPTER: (and this is a BRILLIANTE hint here) VOIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!**

**Yeah. Obvious to the EXTREME!**

**Review review review...OR ELSE.**


	10. ITS THE FANGIRLS! Squalo Superbi

**Dum deedum deedum reviews are the light of my laptop...^^**

**Technically its the light bulbs behind the screen but whatever. =_= **

**Advice of the day: Wear earmuffs when standing next to Squalo. Of course, you knew that already. I don't even know why I had to write that. =_=**

**Disclaimer: Blahdy blah blah blah blahdy lalalala tralala, oh wait, yeah. I don't own KHR!. And I lied about that ToV Character Illustrations book being my first anime/manga/game merchandise. I have a Kuchiki Byakuya handphone pouch from Chinatown...^^**

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"bam"

"...okay!"

"Bam"

"...okay."

"BAM"

"...okay"

"**BAM**"

"...okay?"

"Passed. Move to the next room...,"The Vice Chair looked at the list, "...SqualoSuperbiIsHawtness-san."

The girl nodded and moved to the next room.

"**GOOD DAY, MISS SQUALOSUPERBIISHAWTNESS.**"

"...um, OHAYO CHAIRPERSON-DONO."

"**NOT LOUD ENOUGH! IF YOU WANT TO JOIN THE ELITE 'GREY SPELL' TEAM, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO TRY HARDER THAN THAT!"**

"...I'm sorry, my ears are starting to hurt."

'**SLAM**' went the ChairFangirl as she slammed her palms onto the table, but she was pleasantly surprised that the candidate made no response.

"**IF YOU WANT TO BE ABLE TO WITHSTAND BEING IN SQUALO'S ASSAULT TEAM, YOU'RE GOING TO BE ABLE TO WITHSTAND LOUD NOISES, SUDDEN AND LOUD. VOIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!"**

"...Yes but I see no reason to need to shout. To withstand loud noises does not require one to speak loudly."

The Chairfangirl collapsed back into her chair. They had a smart one here. SqualoSuperbiIsHawtness could see her thoughts written all over her face.

"After all, opposites do attract."

Yes, young SqualoSuperbiIsHawtness had quite high expectations of the Fangirl Association of assaultiNg hawtnesS.

Or maybe Tsuna had finally gotten a bit smarter.

"....that new addition to our team...she has nice hair."

"Yes, a bit like my darling Mukuro-sama. Maybe if she takes off that eyepatch, it will be a red eye with a number on it too! HEHEHEHEE!!!"

"...wait, say WHAT?"

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

"Hello Lissuria."

"Oh helLOOOOO my dear Squalo-channn~! What brings you so civilised to me today? ^^"

"**VOIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!"**

Lissuria's sunglasses flew off his face, Lissuria flew off the chair, and the chair flew off the carpet, and the carpet would have flown off the floor if not for the fact that Squalo's weight held it down.

"SQUALOOO...YOU MADE ME DEAF!"

"SERVES YOU RIGHT for giving me **THIS!**" Squalo yelled violently at he shoved a Squalo doll into Lussuria's face.

"KAWAII~...OOF."

Squalo's boot tasted funny...or was that the taste of his nasal cavity?

"Squalo-chan! I did not make that! As much as I love Squalo dolls, I don't have pink glitter for the hair, or the time to tie it into French braids like that...but its SO CUTE..." Squalo's boot dug deeper into Lissuria's facial features.

"SQUALO YOU'RE DESTROYING MY BEAUTY!!!!"

"Die you homo freak. " Squalo muttered under his breath, very uncharacteristically. He had been trying to see if it sounded scarier like Hibari, but realised it wasn't as fun. He just couldn't pull it off.

So he decided to go back to his normal way.

"**DIE YOU HOMO FREAKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"**

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o00o

"So that's what they are planning?"

"Yes, Boss."

"I'll email that to Squalo now."

"Yes, Boss."

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Squalo knew.

Thanks to Sawada Tsunayoshi and 'SqualoSuperbiIsHawtness'.

But it was still shocking.

"WHAT THE #$)#%#%#ING #$%$ OF A #$#)$# IS THE #$)*#)$$ in THE #$)#*$#$!?!?!"

Squalo dropped the photo and the girl giggled stupidly and ditzy-ly.

The girl stopped laughing and grinned. "I would love to do that to you too, you know. Tee hee!"

Tsuna and Gokudera, who were sitting on a ledge in the next street, Gokudera staring through the binoculars casually commented.

"I've never seen a piece of photography paper used like a sword...beautifully, and graceful, I must admit. He does live up to the name of a Varia swordsman."

"...Gokudera-kun...=_="

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o00o

"M..Me, Chair-sama?"

"Yes, you. You're the best of the best. Now we want YOU to get in and get _them_."

"...hai, Chair-sama."

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

"**VOIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII?!?!?!"**

"Squalo-san, I thought we had agreed on cooperating?"

"YES, but I didn't think...ITS TOO HARD TO **ACCEPT!**"

"...could you just please give it to me? You have many others!"

"**VOIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII NO WAY IN #$ING #$#!!!"**

As Chrome walked out of the room, Lissuria passed a brown bag to Chrome. She looked inside, and gasped.

"How did you..."

"Hehe, don't ask, and don't tell Squalo-chan!~~"

"..." Chrome would have to be insane to do that.

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

"KYAAA~!!!"

All of the Squalo-department girls squealed, including those in the so-called elite "Grey Spell" (yes, they don't have very much imagination).

"SqualoSuperbiIsHawtness, you are beyond AMAZING!"

"You are really awesome!"

"...um, thank you?"

At that moment, the Chair just HAD to bring in the Chairperson of the FANBOYs club.

Who happened to be Chrome Dokuro's numero uno fan.

"...CHROME?!"

"...excuse me?"

When the boy wrapped himself around Chrome's right leg, Mukuro took over.

"You do NOT touch the FEET!" (Yes, Mukuro had been watching Penguins of Madagascar.)

"...KYAAA~ ITS MUKURO-SAMA!"

"..oh damn." Mukuro swore.

Later, when Squalo burst into the room waving his sword, he yelled:

"**VOIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII WHO THE #$ STOLE MY LUCKY RED SWORDSMAN G-STRINGS UNDERPANTS?!?!?!"**

He stumbled at the sight of 12 fangirls suspended in the air, with one geeky boy, and Mukuro cackling evilly in the middle of it all.

"VOIII, ROKUDO MUKURO!"

Mukuro looked at Squalo, questioningly.

"They are MY prey."

"...fair enough. I had my turn. I warmed them up nice and good for you."

"I don't NEED help." Squalo waited for the hysterical crazy people fell to the floor.

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o00o

"Dear Tsunayoshi (And Gokudera Hayato, if you are peeking over your BELOVED boss's shoulder.)

I have attached the audio fan.

_Kufufufufufu_

_-Rokudo Mukuro_

_Tenth Mist Guardian"_

Tsuna clicked on the attachment, while Gokudera swore violently behind him.

"**VOIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII FACE THE WRATH OF SUPERBI SQUALOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!"**

"HE'S SO HAWWWW...OWWWW!!!"

"EEEEEEEEEEEEP!"

"WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS?! I'm NOT EVEN A SQUALO FANBOY! I'm just..."

"**DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! HAHAHA!!!"**

Tsuna's face turned pale and he closed Windows Media Player quickly.

Gokudera sighed. "That guy, is psycho."

"Hahaha! That's Squalo all right!" Yamamoto, who had been watching from the door, laughed.

Tsuna sighed. How on earth was he supposed to be the boss of these psychotic morons?!

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**Sorry guys, I don't find this one very funny...but I'm kinda tired-ish and all that.**

**Too few references to other material.**

**So yeah, don't ask why or HOW Lissuria got his hands on Squalo's G-Strings. LissuriaXSqualo is...unfathomable.**

**but whatever.**

**REVIEW.**

**OR ELSE I SHALL ACTIVATE LEVEL 3 OVER LIMIT, PERFORM THE ARCANE ARTE "Sundering Moon", THEN USE THE BURST ARTE "Crushing Grave", WHICH IS AN ALTERED ARTE AS WELL, AND THEN FINALLY UNLEASH JUDITH'S PWNSOME MYSTIC ARTE, "Radiant Moonlight". And then I'll use Limit Bottles to top up my Over Limit Gauge to level 3 again and we can do that again.**

**And Again.**

**(this is for those people who evidently do not think that "OR ELSE" is a sufficient enough threat. therefore I have to use Judith's most powerful attacks from Tales of Vesperia on you, over and over again. HLAHLAHLAHLAHLA.)**

**So yeah, review, and make this easier for the both of us.**


	11. ITS THE FANGIRLS! Belphagor

**I am currently devoid of ideas because EFFING EFF OF THE EFFING…EFF. TO THE EXTREME. SCHOOL IS GOING TO START TOMOROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. **

**Yes. TOMORROW, the end of all vacations, the end of a break in ridiculous education, the end of my level grinding to defeat Duke Pantarei, the end of my freedom to type this fic (yes, this is the part you reviewers start shrieking in horror). Yes, the end of our(mainly mine) SANITY.**

_**It's now in the dark, everywhere to everyone, **_

_**Ain't so strong…I ain't so strong to go on,**_

_**Livin' in life, as its not the way to live,**_

_**I wish you could hear…me say that I miss you.**_

**(call that the writer's dedication to freedom, to june hols, and to reviewers.)**

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"Looking out to no man's land,

Take a breath and take a chance,

Walk a thousand nights to change the world…" Lissuria sung as he scrubbed plates.

"VOII, you stupid hissy, what are you singing?!" Our all time favourite swordsman (apart from Yamamoto, of course. Squalo: ARE YOU SAYING I'M NOT AS GOOD AS HE IS?!) Squalo Superbi yelled.

"Ooh, Squalo! It's a song, called _Ring a Bell_!"

"Ring a…_Bel?!_" Bel smiled creepily from the table. "A song dedicated to a prince, specially for me…ushishishishishi~!"

"No, no, Bel-chaan~. Ring a _Bell_, by Bonnie Pink. And _NO_, it is NOT dedicated to you!" Lissuria placed the now sparkling white plate onto the drying rack. Pulling off his gloves, he sparkled.

"Why, the song is the opening theme of a game, which stars a 21 year old man with long raven hair, prettier than Squalo's…" At this point, Squalo was about to VOII again but Bel stuffed an éclair into his mouth before he could deafen the whole Varia HQ. "…whose name is Yuri Lowell! My, he's a cute one, but not enough muscle if you ask me…and despite his open shirt he should reveal more chest…"

Squalo, in all his manliness, could not take anymore explicit gayness, grabbed the plate that used to hold éclairs, jumped over the table, and smashed it over Lissuria's head, repeatedly.

"DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE YOU HOMOFREAK!!!!!!!" Squalo screamed as he destroyed the plate (not to mention Lissuria's Mohawk hairdo), while Bel simply "Ushishishishi~"ed at the side.

Somewhere, a teen girl giggled too.

_Ushishishi, my darling Bel-dono…TEE HEE HEE!!!~~~_

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

"…I don't think I ordered this…?"

"Please…don't kill me…just…SIGN IT! AND DON'T BRING THAT FREAKY WHITE HAIRED SWORDSMANIAC OUT PLEASEI'MBEGGING YOUUUUUUUUUUUUU…"

Bel was roughly pushed out of the way by Squalo, who yelled "**VOIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIWHO ARE YOU CALLIN' FREAKY YOU BASTARD! DIE!!!"** straight into the poor mailman's face, who then launched himself at the defenceless pitiful man.

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGGGGHHH!!!" Bel rolled his eyes (not that you can actually SEE them), but chuckled a bit at the mailman's pathetic attempts at escape.

Tearing open the brown paper around the small box, he noticed the pink shimmery fairy dust floating from the paper. "Anthrax?!" he thought, then shook his head. He had expected this. After all, the _prince_ will always have princess-wannabes.

And he would crush them all.

He stared at the tape in his hands, then sighed. Walking over to the VCR player, he stuck the thing in, and turned on the TV. Xanxus walked into the sitting room, and plonked himself on the couch.

"Well, Belphagor, what have we here?"

"Ushishishi~, Xanxus-sama. This came in the mail for me…and it came with _pink dust._"

Xanxus' face blanched. "No…WHAT THE EFF?!" (censored for younger readers…and my sanity)

"Ushishishi, now let us watch this."

The screen turned to a picture of a pink haired girl who made Xanxus raise an eyebrow. Yes, let it be known: Xanxus has a pink-haired-girl fetish. Then the picture changed to one of a long haired raven coloured man. (At least, they were pretty convinced it was a man…a woman would not be likely to hold a sword that way. Okay yes I'm just making it clear) Then to a picture of a red coat researcher shorthaired girl who pulled up her goggles.

"…what…is this?" Xanxus muttered. The song was playing in the background.

"_Looking out to no man's land,_

_to take a breath and take a chance,_

_walk a thousand nights to _RULE THE WORLD WITH ME, YOUR PRINCESS!!!"

Suddenly the voice changed dramatically to a bimbotic voice, and the pictures changed from pictures of Tales of Vesperia characters to pictures of…Bel and some weird looking girl?!

"?!?!" went Bel and Xanxus. "They interrupted a perfectly nice song. Stupid (vulgar word meaning female dog.)" muttered Xanxus, who really liked the pictures of the pink-haired girl.

"I think this girl desires to be my princess…ushishishishi, she'd never qualify." Bel chuckled a bit nervously. The pictures were really scary…he had NEVER posed in such _suggestive _ poses with this girl…or _any_ girl to begin with. Why should he? None deserved his attention so far.

Xanxus couldn't take the insanity any further. He stood up, and whipped out his guns, aiming them at the screen.

**BLAM.**

Lissuria jumped into the sitting room. "NUUUUUUUUUUUU~~!!! I WAS RECORDING _Boys over Flowers_ ON THE TELEVISION'S RECORDING FEATURE! NOW I'LL NEVER KNOW WHAT IS HAPPENING BETWEEN…" Bel flicked his hand toward Lissuria, and knives flew over Lissuria's head, and his previously ruined Mohawk hairdo was permanently obliterated.

"NUUUUUUUUUUUUU MY HAIRRR!!!" Lissuria squealed in horror. Xanxus stormed out of the room in frustration.

"Next time, Belphagor, get the song from YouTube instead of buying them from…_fangirls_."

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

"I come as your humble servant, Belphagor-sama."

"Please, my dear _princess_, call me …Bel."

He noticed the little pink sparkle that poofed from the girl in the maid outfit.

"…Bel-sama…"

"…my _princess…"_

The girl in the maid outfit leaned toward Bel…

…Bel leaned toward the girl, with a small smile that made the girl's heart melt…

…then knives flew from behind Bel and pushed the girl to the floor and pinned her to the floor.

"KYAA! BEL-SAMA!"

"Ushishishishi~~, weakling."

"…I …didn't know you wanted to jump straight to the…" the girl blushed and turned her head to the floor shyly, "good part…"

Bel's smile spread even wider. "Yes, I do."

The girl practically burst in pink sparkles.

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

"WHAT. THE. (insert worse swear word)" Xanxus muttered.

"…our little Bel-chan has finally grown up…I THINK I'M GOING TO CRY! Xanxus-sama, HOLD ME!" Lissuria sighed as he collapsed to the side, falling into Xanxus's…

…knee.

Yep, Xanxus jerked up his knee and knocked Lissuria's head so hard, his body swung the other way and flew to the carpet.

Xanxus rubbed his temples. The shock, the stress, the _pure ridiculousness_ of everything that happened in the Varia made him want to throw himself out of the window.

Before him, Bel was chuckling happily holding a decorated knife at a girl tied up with rope, in a maid's outfit, while the girl tearily sang a song that was oh quite familiar to Lissuria (who had only seen the girl tied up and assumed Bel was doing M rated things to her).

"How were we there…snif snif…back to back,

Why were we there face to face,

I must be the light, when you're in the dark.

If you lose me somewhere,

And your tears are…snif snif…in the air,

I will _ring a bell_, until you feel me by your side."

"Ushishishishi~ now sing it again…_servant_."

The girl wept at her lost title of princess.

**o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o00o**

**Yes its crap. I could only think up of a parody of Ring a Bell because once on my blog I typed a post about Bel and Tales of Vesperia and named the post Ring a Bel(phagor) and now its pretty much stuck in my head everytime I say "Ring a Bell".**

**KEVIN, FORGIVE ME!!! (don't ask me who Kevin is. I have no clue. If you watched that episode of Fairly Oddparents maybe you'll get it…)**

**REVIEW ANYWAY, OR I'LL…ahm,**

**unleash Duke's Big Bang Mystic arte, and then use his Brave Vesperia Mystic Arte (which is an awesome combi of EVERYONE'S mystic artes), and then I shall summon Judith and use Ashen Moonlight Burst Arte followed by her mystic arte Radiant Moonlight, and now I'm sure you have lost me somewhere and scrolled down to click the Review button just so I will shut up.**

**So, REVIEW, or I'll fangirl-over-Tales-of-Vesperia you to death.**


	12. And thus it beganor ended Whatever

And thus ended (temporarily) the torture of the Katekyo Hitman Reborn Characters.

…or was it to be?

From this point on, only those who have started/finished the TYL arc may proceed without fear of spoilers. Those who have not…well, you have been warned.

What you may see may scar you for life.

Thus, where there is Vongola, there is Fangirl.

Whether there be Millefore, Vongola Varia, Bovino, etc etc, there WILL be fangirls.

Thus we reach the beginning of the end, and the end of the beginning.

…Wait, that's stupid. We've reached the middle of the beginning to this new 'arc', not the end…the beginning, or whatever.

Ah, I'm confused, you're confused, we are one big CLAMily…

With a great big BANG

And a bite from you to me,

Won't you say you'll kheel me too.

…

Do you understand what I have been trying to say?

We have come to the end of the present.

I bring you…

…the fangirls…

…of TYL.

(Lightning and thunder sound in background)

Let the torture begin…

HLAHLAHLAHLAHLAHLA!

**Just a note: There will be repeats, but then, fangirling over, say, the TYA Hibari is NOT the same as fangirling over the TYL Hibari. Why? Because one's TYA and the other's TYL. And also, because I said so.**

**Trust me, it will be GOOD.**

**In the meantime, go read my other KHR fic, about tormenting Hibari Kyouya. "You Can't Suppress My Carnivorous Instinct!" by ImJustNutty (in case you forgot my pwnsome name)**

**No need to review, but if you really have no means to convey your excitement, by all means, REVIEW ANYWAY.**


	13. ITS THE FANGIRLS! Gokudera Hayato TYL!

**And the chapter you people have ALL been watiting for…**

**DUM DUM DUM DUMMMMMMM!!!!**

**Disclaimer: No I don't own KHR!. I want to, but I don't. Besides, it would hardly get updated if it was owned by me.**

**o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o00o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o00o0o0o0o**

_Then Lambo accidentally shot Tsuna, sending him..._

_...TEN YEARS INTO THE FUTURE._

_Unbeknownst to him (and us, the faithful audience who watch every episode), the fangirls of our time went along with him._

_Although how they did that, no one knows._

_Never question the weird abilities of an overly obsessed fangirl. NEVER._

_Even if you get the answer, you probably wished you never asked._

"...Gokudera-kun?!"

"...Ju...Judaime?!" asked TYL Gokudera in a emo-looking face.

"...You look...OOF!" Somehow, somewhere, a flurry of skirt, blouse, and pink sparkles launched out of the coffin, pushing Tsuna out of the coffin and falling in a sprawled mess behind.

"TYL GOKUDERA-SAMAAAAAAAAAAAAA~~~~~~~" They squealed as they ruthlessly tackled our poor emo hero.

"WHAT THE F(ire Truck)!! YOU GIRLS…YOU SHRUNK?!'

The fangirls looked rather confused at first, but then the smartest of them, who had watched the most KHR!, realised that their future selves must have been around.

"YOU NOTICED! Oh GOKUDERA-SAMA, I simply KNEW we had something special!" swooned xXSaraOfTheVongolaXx.

Gokudera stared at her blankly, then narrowed his eyes in the way he usually did when he was about to kill someone.

**BOOM**

…extreme! (sorry, you would have noticed this is something that happens a lot in my fics)

When the smoke cleared, TYL Gokudera and Tsuna were there, alone, and the fangirls had been blown far, far away.

o0o0o0o0oo0o0o0o

Meanwhile, a half kilometre or so away, the incomplete Arcobaleno, Lal Mirch, looked up to see what looked like six or so sparkling pink girls soaring with all the grace of a falling anvil. She rubbed her eyes, and put on her goggles.

They were gone.

She pulled off her goggles, and sighed. Her eyes were getting worse.

Either that or the Miliefore were getting less subtle.

But sparkling pink girls? That's just ridiculous.

It's not even funny.

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

The Emo!Gokudera looked painfully at Tsuna, who looked puzzledly at him.

"Juudaime, when you go back to your time, kill this boy." Gokudera held up a picture of Irie Shouichi, who on first impression looked a bit like a girl.

"When he…" suddenly, Gokudera poofed in a puff of pink smoke, and TYA Gokudera appeared.

"Juudaime??!"

"Gokudera-kun?!"

For some reason, the fangirls who had been blasted way off into space somehow got blown by a strong wind, at this very moment…

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Lal looked up.

"Damn, I'm seeing things."

Then proceeded to ignore the pink sparkling girls who were OBVIOUSLY NOT THERE and continue to where Gokudera Hayato should be.

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

"I thought I was going to be in the future, but…"

BAM.

"HIEE! You girls again?!"

"…?!" went the fangirls, a bit dazed from their trip of the skies.

"AH! ASSASINS AFTER THE JUUDAIME'S LIFE!" Gokudera pulled out sticks of dynamite, and shouted "ROCKET BOMB!"

**BAM**

"Here we go again!"

"Leaving the two lovers alone in the forest…"

"Hayato and Tsuna, both in pain…"

"Gain peace and comfort in each other's chests!"

"AND WE WON'T BE HERE TO SEE IT!"

"AND WE FLY AGAIN IN BITSSSSSS~~~~"

The six girls giggled fangirlishly as they flew off into the sky, disappearing in a single sparkle. [1]

Gokudera and Tsuna stared blankly up at the skies.

"…stupid girls."

"…I think…they think we're gay."

Gokudera flinched from Tsuna like Tsuna was some sort of cockroach.

Tsuna was not in the least insulted.

Partially because he did the same.

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

**SLAM CRASH BOOM.**

…extreme!

The six girls lay in a heap, while Hibari_Sora_Love untangled herself from the mess of the six. She looked around at the room they had landed in.

"…this looks too familiar…"

The rest of the girls stood up and looked around.

The poster of Mukuro with his shirt off…

The picture of Hibari in a skirt…

The Gokudera with his jacket pulled off by a nude Tsuna (fanart, of course) poster…

The ALL HAIL AMANO AKIRA banner…

"We're…" started xXSaraOfTheVongolaXx, as the swivel chair at the window spun around.

"We've been expecting you…_fangirls from the past…_"

The six girls auto-prostrated themselves before the figure silhouetted in black.

"CHAIR-SAMA!"

**o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o**

**Sorry this chapter is kinda short. There ain't much to fangirl over in the TYL Gokudera section.**

**Next should be TYL Yamamoto.**

**Of course there will be the Lal fanboys and the HIBARI fangirls omgdness that's going to be BAHD/GOOD.**

**[1]= reference to Pokemon, you know, the Rocket Team? the stupid blue haired guy, James or something, and the pink haired girl, and their little cat thing…**

**And the last bit about the TYL Fangirl Chairperson, you realise she's all secretive? Well, she's going to be like TYL Tsuna…unknown, and possibly …replaced. Oh the horror.**

**We shall always remember the first chairperson, who lost her life in the line of duty.**

**She got speared by Squalo's sword. **

**We shall forever remember.**

**NOTE: if you wish to be one of the privileged six, tell me in your review. Also state whether you want to use your current penname, or come up with something so stupid, like ILubsHibariKyouyaHAWTNESS or something. (provided the name doesn't actually exist…)**

**So far in the 6:**

**xXSaraOfTheVongolaXx (fictional), Hibari_Sora_Love (fictional), [blank], [blank]…yeah you get the point.**

**NOW THOU SHALT REVIEW.**


	14. ITS THE FANGIRL! Special PAST Edition!

**Firstly, I'm EXTREMELY apologetic for not updating since, like, i dunno, FOREVER.**

**So i'm making it up with an EXCLUSIVE chapter! That's right! It ain't the present, or the future, its the PAST!**

**We're bringing you a blast from the past, we're bringing you history...**

**We're bringing you...VONGOLA PRIMO.**

**That's right, folks, put yer hands together for our very own VONGOLA PRIMO, GIOTTO!**

**(mind you, if you're one of the weird nincompoops who dislike spoilers, then don't read this chappie until you've encountered the bit where TYL Hibari seals Tsuna in the Hiporcupine of doom...oopsie! Looks like i've given a peek into the future already! :P)**

**Disclaimer: ...Look, if I owned KHR, why the EFF am I writing this?!**

**O0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o00o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o**

A flash of blonde.

A distant scream.

A car backfired.

The shadowy blonde ducked into the shadows of a dark alley, and an angry mob, screaming, ran right past, their pink sparkling torches briefly illuminating the face of the panting blonde.

...hold up, angry? That's wrong. This mob was FAR from angry. In fact, they were so friggin _happy_, they were screaming and _squealing_. Which also explained the pink sparkling torches.

"GET HIM!" hollered the leader, in a fluffy high-pitched voice that just oozed pink. The blonde in the shadows looked up sharply, cursed in fluent Italian, and sprinted for his life.

As he ran, he pulled out his pistol from his long coat and fired ten shots behind him. He heard them hit home, but the mob kept coming/squealing.

"Damn fangirls...." cursed the blonde. "As if I don't get enough from fleeing from the Millefiore and all those other blasted mafia famiglia..." He spun around and shot again.

"I have no choice...I hate it...they...it's the only way!" He cursed again, skidding to a stop. He turned to see the pink sparkling crowd that illuminated the night sky of Italy.

"X Burner!" He yelled furiously, and the mob suddenly skidded to a stop at the sight of his gloves that had suddenly ignited into bright orange flames.

Not out of fear, you realise.

Quite the opposite.

As the young mafia boss blasted himself into the safety of his element, he heard screams of _joy _below him.

"KYAA~~! He's doing it again! Those beautiful flames that brighten my heart!"

"GIOTTO, MARRY ME!!!!~~~"

In the cover of the dark clouds in the night sky, a panting blonde mafia boss cursed in Italian, Japanese, English, and some cuss words he made up because he'd run out of languages to swear in.

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

The blonde landed on the dimly lit street near the hideout. He knocked on the door of the broken dilapidated house.

"Whosh dere?!" shouted a violent and drunk voice.

"Vongola Primo."

"Oh!" The previously drunk voice turned polite and sober. The blonde stood there, tapping his foot as he heard the clicks and bombs removed/deactivated so the door could be opened. After a while, the door swung open, and the voice said, "Welcome back, Primo!"

As the blonde walked through the dimly lit corridor, two men flanked him as they walked through another door, into a brightly lit room where cigarette smoke thickened the atmosphere.

"Ah...welcome back, Giotto," smiled a gentle face which belonged to the Bishop of Saint Bernard.

"..." The man who said this simply nodded in a regal fashion.

"YO my man GIOTTO! How's it going!" shouted a cheery former Millefiore member.

"TALK to the Primo with some respect, will you? Especially with the kindness he showed you..." muttered the young Italian doctor, who had a great amount of respect for his boss.

Giotto smiled tiredly. "Now now, Alvisio. It's been a really horrid night for me, so just calm down, okay?"

The Italian doctor blushed, but nodded.

The rain guardian, who had been holding a flute in his hand, looked up. "Giotto, my friend, what misfortune befell you THIS time.."

Giotto smiled again. "It appears that those _fangirls_ that chased you in Japan...well, they're here too...and they are after me."

"WHAT?!" shouted Alvisio, standing up and brandishing an amazingly large collection of explosives from under the poker table. "Primo, I will defend you against those ...freaks of nature!" He followed this by swearing viciously in Italian, which caused the priest to flinch.

Giotto sighed, and plonked himself heavily on a chair. Pulling off his gloves, he said, "I'm glad to see you're willing to help. Problem is, I'm surprised they haven't come after you already...you are quite the, ah, ladies' man, I would have guessed."

Almost as if on cue, the side of the wall that Alvisio was leaning against exploded, sending the poor Italian flying forward.

"SECURITY BREACH! EMERGENCY!" screamed one of the Guardians.

The cloud guardian, who was a King, brushed himself with grace and elegance, then brandished two iron boomerangs, and hissed "I'll destroy these intruders."

Giotto's eyes widened. "VONGOLA! RETREAT! IT'S THE FANGIRLS!"

Pink sparkles flew out and giggles followed. Alvisio hurled unstable explosive and a hundred other illegal flammable devices toward the debris, where sparkling figures seemed to emerge from, giggling all the time.

"GIOTTO SWEETIE! WE WANT YOU!!!~~~"

"Wait, there's that Italian hottie over there!"

"Alvisio, is it?~~"

"I WANT HIM TOO!~~"

Alvisio flinched. "What the he—"

Giotto pulled on his gloves furiously, and shot the ceiling down, so it collapsed on top of the giggling mob.

"Damnit! RUN!" yelled Alvisio.

"We won't let them get near you, Giotto my friend!" nodded the Japanese swordsman, gravely.

Giotto, nodded back, but went pale, till his orange eyes seemed all the more remarkable.

"If I ever get out of this..." Giotto panted, as he fled with his guardians behind the forest. "...may my tenth descendant of the Vongola family be more fortunate!"

"But Primo..." remarked the priest, "if that is so, then that would mean he is less desirable to the opposite gender as compared to you?"

"It's okay, he'd understand..." muttered Giotto.

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Ten generations of Vongola later, Sawada Tsunayoshi sighed as he saw Hibari fending off thirty rabid fangirls at once. Gokudera turned and asked, "Juudaime? Why the long face, long sigh, and overall miserable look?"

Tsuna sighed again. "Gokudera-kun, sometimes I'm so glad I don't have to fight with those stupid fangirls, but I can't help feeling envious. Why am I so unlucky???"

Gokudera sighed inwardly. Despite his Juudaime being so awesome and all, he couldn't appreciate the safety he had. Maybe Tsuna just didn't understand that girls didn't chase him because he was just too tough for them.

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**This chappie is shorter than I thought, but then, it seems that there's more to this.**

**I didn't make up everything. According to some bit, there's a King, a Priest and a mafia member from another family in Giotto's little Vongola family. I made up Alvisio, though, and it's kinda obvious he's kinda like Gokudera. **

**The king is obviously like Hibari.**

**The priest was kinda like Mukuro, except...well, priests are godly, and Mukuro's quite the direct opposite.**

**The rain guardian was a swordsman who had to give up the flute for swordsmanship just because his friend Giotto needed his help. He looks a bit like Yamamoto too, in the manga.**

**Uh, Giotto looks like Tsuna. I was planning on making him say "If i get out of this alive, may my tenth decendant for the Vongola be equally cute, equally hot, but a thousand times lamer and more loserish than I am!" But then Giotto isn't that type.**

**As for him making up swear words, my cousins do that. They made up the word "baka', until I told them that baka was really an insult in Japanese. They were so happy with themselves...-_-**

**Anyway, excuse the long A/N and review!**


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